The nature of love, the end of seeking, and the felt experience of 'it'

Some of you have been asking questions in the comments section. Questions like, "I get glimpses, I've had mystical experiences, but still the ego rises and still this inner drive pushes me on to seek, what is it that's driving me?" "It makes so much sense but I still don't have the felt experience of it." "I have a sense of sadness still that love might not be fundamental to the Absolute, but just to me in some way."

"Are you able to describe what the borderline looks like? Is this the no knowing place?" Questions like the these are important. It's good to bring them out, because there's something that I call the 'dangerous question'. And this 'dangerous question' differs from mind to mind.

Each mind is like a combination lock that we trying to unlock. Untangle. If that dangerous question can be brought out and resolved, then you're done. Undone.

It's all over then. So, it's good to ask these questions, and have them answered directly. Now, I don't quite have the setup to do those talking head kind of videos, so you're still just hearing my voice. But I do prefer to appear to you as a disembodied voice rather than a talking head!

Adds more gravitas, don't you think? All right, let's get into it. I would like you to not think of me as a person talking to you, another person. Let's listen to this a bit differently.

There's a voice and there's the listening. And this coming together may result in wisdom. So, this first question we'll address is from Amelia Forbes. And she says, "Even though I know there's no person here to help and I'm already already where I want to be, but still this inner drive pushes me day and night.

"I meditate, I contemplate, I question, I get glimpses, I've had mystical experiences, but still the ego rises and still this inner drive pushes me on to seek. "What is it that's driving me?" Well, what's driving you is passion. Love. Isn't it?

Every action can be traced back to a spark of love. Even the slightest bit of interest is love. So, when this love turns inwards, that fuels this search; the inner search. There's nothing wrong with that.

The drive here is to go all the way. And that is correct. That is how it should be. Don't stop at ideas of God, or Universal Consciousness, or be happy with some mystical experience.

Don't get hooked on anything that gives you those experiences. The point is to clearly know your own Self. What am I? Only the conclusion of the question ends the search.

There is an instruction provided by Ramana Maharshi which really helped me at this stage. Where you feel like you've understood everything, you've seen everything you want to see, and you just want to resolve back now, to just live life out in peace, in the knowledge of the Self. So, the instruction that is very useful here is Ramana Maharshi's teaching on Self-inquiry. Which is to train the mind in this way that whenever a desire or thought comes to the mind, it should be asked, "To whom did this thought arise?"

Now, early on in the search, this method just leads to more thinking. So, while the method is very simple and straightforward, it's actually meant, or more useful for, for this advanced stage. Towards the end of the search. When you're ready to call it off.

Now, if you train the mind in this way, train it so that this becomes an effortless process that whenever a thought arises, another voice asks the question, "To whom did this thought arise?" But now because the answer has been realized through all those glimpses and mystical experiences and all that, you know the I here is just Aware-ness. So, instead of trying to answer with more thoughts, the mind becomes quiet. It turns inwards, towards the Self.

So, through this practice the mind can be quietened down. The gaps between thoughts can be stretched out. And after a while the mind becomes very clear on what "I" means. Who is it talking to.

And it can understand that the search has concluded. Just to repeat, the method is simply to train the mind that whatever thought may be arising, to ask, "To whom did this thought arise?" And then in silence the mind looks back to its Source. Which is You. The Self.

That's all. You start to move beyond all those mystical experiences. Things get very normal. But the normal is beautiful, and filled with peace.

The peace and love that is quite intrinsic to the Self. All right, so the next question is from Henriette. Another regular on this channel. This was on the transient and the Absolute.

That video, titled 'A pointer to the Absolute'. And the question is, "It makes so much sense, but I still don't have the felt experience of it." I don't think Henriette is still stuck at this point, but we'll answer it anyway. This is a common place to keep going round and round in circles.

But who is stuck? It's the mind trying to experience you! Or you might think of it as the brain, sitting in the skull, trying to know the world as it is. Trying to know what reality is in actual fact.

Well, it's not possible. The 'it' is you. And you cannot be experienced by the brain or the mind. So, to resolve this, you shift the perspective.

Don't question from the level of the mind, because that requires that 'it' is something apart from you. But, I know from previous comments from Henriette, what she is really looking for is just the peace, the calm and tranquility, all that is promised to be natural natural to the Self. Well that is natural to you. You and the peace are always on the same side.

It is the disturbance that is on the other side. That is what we can call 'it'. Because there's a bit of distance between you and 'it'. So, while there may be a disturbance, you and peace remain on the same side.

There's no barrier inbetween. So, to return to peace, all that need be done is to turn away from the disturbance. Who is asking? Who wants to experience 'it'?

Again, all this is resolved through the question, "What am I?" The mind has to get it. You are You. And in yourself, you are peace.

Sat Chit Ananda. Being-Consciousness-Bliss. The three words describe the one Self. The mind need only realize that you are right here.

Perceiving it. You have always been present. And so, if the mind wishes peace for you, all it need do is to pipe down. Remind itself who it is addressing.

If this body is your temple, who is your God? It's quite funny in a way. It sounds very arrogant. But actually since this is all internal, what is happening is the ego is submitting to the Self.

The true Self, which has nothing to do with Nabeel or Henriette, or any of these characters. The character is submitting to what is real. The Absolute. Pure Awareness-Presence-Peace.

So, now we get to Hannah's question. Hannah asks the most questions by far. But I think you're at the stage where again it's time to close shop. Wrap it up!

Call off the search. So, this question I'm going to touch on, she asked, "I'm curious and confused about something." This was again on the video on the transient and the Absolute. So, she says, "It seems like love is often described as being something very fundamental to Reality.

"Not as something that is done, a movement, but the nature of Reality, often blended with the quality of 'unconditional'." Now, she describes her experiences, which seem to indicate that, but also some of them contradict it. So, this is the confusion; is it that love is fundamental to the Absolute, or is it at the level of the mind? Now, as you may know, my own realization mostly sprouted from Nisargadatta's teachings.

And Nisargadatta always pointed past consciousness. Beyond consciousness, what is prior to it. He would ask, what was there a 100 years before you were born? Things like that.

And you see similar questions coming up in Zen, which has also had an influence on my understanding. So, in these kind of teachings, we can talk about Consciousness and the Absolute. But they are not two separate things, because this is the understanding of Nonduality. So, the Absolute refers to the very, very, initial starting condition.

There's nothing prior to the Absolute. The Absolute is not a state, in fact. It is the Ground Reality. This is known in every mind through the idea of 'death' and 'nothing'.

And the knowledge that experience has a beginning and an end. The Absolute is that 'nothing' in a way, but only from the standpoint of the mind. Once you know what you are, or rather the mind acknowledges what You are, You are this Absolute. And you are not 'nothing' obviously.

You are present. You're aware. And the Absolute refers to this pure Aware-ness. If you take away all the experience, what's left is the Absolute. So, now going to the point before this universe began, when there's no time or space or experience, of course, there's no love either.

At this point, there's no experience at all. The Absolute is the Reality beyond time and space. But from Here, how does anything begin? This is what can be seen by the most subtle inquiry.

Through Cessation. Or through an investigation of the mind's transitions from sleep to wakefulness. In the Absolute, the very first phenomena to appear, the very first perception, is Love. Love is the first step.

Before that, there's just the Self. The Absolute. Aware, but unaware of being aware! Because there's no movement.

Nothing to be aware of. But the the first glimpse is of Love. Prior to this Love, is just Ananda. The Peace, or the Bliss, that is intrinsic to the Self.

But this is not the kind of bliss that is being felt experientially. Because in the Absolute there is no sense of self, and no knowledge, no experience. But as you emerge, as the first experience appears, it is known that You were there in a state of Perfect Peace. And what could drag you out from that Peace?

Only this Love. The Love first appears as the sense, I Am. It is the love of being. The love of the Self. The true Self.

Not a person, not any identity that comes later, it is the pure Love-to-Be. And this drives whatever comes next. So, this is the true power of creation. This Love-to-Be.

The very first ingredient; the seed of Consciousness. But what is desired in this Love? Only to be. To exist. But from this seed all kinds of minds can take shape, and all kinds of worlds.

And then there's a Yearning. Because Love is not in itself Bliss. Love desires something. It desires a Union.

To be together forever in Peace. But that was the starting condition! Which is why I call the Absolute, the 'Fulfillment of Love'. Where all is One, without the possibility of another one.

So, when this life began, it started the same way. In the Absolute, the sense that 'I Am' arose. And it was loved. The Love was quite natural.

It is quite intrinsic to the Self. It is the first step. And through that love, You came to know this body, this mind took shape, and this world. That's how I see it.

That's how everything begins. In that perfect stillness of pure Sentience, the first movement is Love. And that is the spark of all creation. But it's all spontaneous.

The Absolute doesn't do anything. Just because of Its presence; Your presence, everything is made possible. And is realized through the power of Love. So, on to the next one.

This I think is a day after that previous exchange with Amelia. She has had some breakthrough, because what she writes it really rings true. She says, "I (awareness) have clothed myself in plain sight! "I am all, "inanimate objects, animate objects, the space in between, the stars, the moon, the sun, the ocean, the sky, "the whole universe absolutely magical and magnificent.

"There are no words, just love for all." This very beautifully describes the Awakening experience. When the mind realizes what "I" refers to. And through that, steps away long enough for You to see the world without the filters.

To see it as Awareness, looking upon your own manifestation. So, again this is from the video, "The transient and the Absolute." So, Amelia did go on to ask, "So anything impermanent is false because these things come and go? "This body, a tree, an object etc., all die or disintegrate, but underlying everything is awareness which I am?"

So, once you've had an Awakening experience, it's quite a seismic event for the mind. So it tries to go back to its previous understanding of the world. Tries to put itself together, scrape its remnants and build back its house of cards. But [it] doesn't quite work.

To say that the impermanent is false or unreal is just a tool to break down a mental barrier. Once the barrier is gone then there's no such thing as the false or unreal. It is all Awareness. The Unseen; the Absolute, is Awareness.

And the phenomena; the seen and known, are the expressions of Awareness. At the conclusion of the search only one thing is found to be unreal. And that is the belief in being a separate conscious entity. A sentient self that stands apart from Reality; the ego.

That is found to be unreal. It never even existed. It was never, and is never, anything more than a bundle of thoughts. That chain together, link to each other, and repeat in these patterns.

And so we go back to the Ramana Maharshi's method, which is so effective. We just ask, "To whom did this thought arise?" And in that silence, You are the Awareness. The Absolute Reality.

Always present. Where else could Reality be, but present? The final question we're going to address for this video is from Elizabeth Gilbert. So, this is in reference to the video on Sentience - The self shining mirror of Reality.

So, Elizabeth asks, "Are you able to describe what the borderline looks like? Is this the no knowing place?" So, in this video I use the analogy of reflections. The 'borderline' was what I used to point to the Self in reference to mind and matter. Because you are neither the mind, nor the matter, which is the structure that supports the mind and the world.

So, to see this for yourself, you can take things quite literally and look at your 'first-person view', as it's called. But do it without the concept of a person. So, this firsthand view, what are we looking at? In front are the reflections.

You can call them the movements in Awareness. What are these movements caused by? If we trust in science, which we should as far as the world is concerned, these are the reflections of brain activity. So, you only know the world as these reflections.

The actual physical processes are hidden away. Unless there's a reflection, you have no knowledge of them. They're just working based on the laws of nature. So, in this first-hand view, on one side is the reflections, the other is invisible, and then there's You at the borderline, being the bridge between mind and matter.

There's no way of knowing the Self other than by being the Self. It is the mind that keeps wanting to experience 'it'. To know Reality. But you can never know Reality using the instrument of the mind, or any other instrument.

You only know the Self by being the Self. By being aware, You know that there is Awareness. So, this was a bit different to the kind of videos I generally do. If you found it useful, leave a comment, give a like.

Let me know if you'd like more such videos like this, and keep the questions coming. You can ask them here, or on any other video. I will keep an eye out for them. Thank you for listening.