Self-Realization as described by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

"The ever-awaited first moment was the moment when I was convinced that I was not an individual at all."

This is the start of a description of Enlightenment in the words of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj himself. It comes from the translation of a little known book that was written by Nisargadatta and then later discovered and edited by Jean Dunn. The book is called 'Self Knowledge and Self Realization' and this is the passage where Nisargadatta describes the moment of Self-Realization.

"The ever-awaited first moment was the moment when I was convinced that I was not an individual at all.

The idea of my individuality had set me burning so far.

The scalding pain was beyond my capacity to endure; but there is not even a trace of it now, I am no more an individual. There is nothing to limit my being now.

The ever present anxiety and the gloom have vanished and now I am all beatitude, pure knowledge, pure consciousness.

The tumors of innumerable desires and passions were simply unbearable, but fortunately for me, I got hold of the hymn, 'Hail, Perceptor,' and on its constant recitation all the tumors of passions withered away as with a magic spell!

I am ever free now. I am all bliss, sans spite, sans fear.

This beatific conscious form of mine now knows no bounds. I belong to all and everyone is mine.

The 'all' are but my own individuations, and these together go to make up my beatific being.

There is nothing like good or bad, profit or loss, high or low, mine or not mine for me.

Nobody opposes me and I oppose none for there is none other than myself.

Bliss reclines on the bed of bliss.

The repose itself has turned into bliss.

There is nothing that I ought or ought not to do, but my activity goes on everywhere, every minute.

Love and anger are divided equally among all, as are work and recreation.

My characteristics of immensity and majesty, my pure energy, and my all, having attained to the golden core, repose in bliss as the atom of atoms.

My pure consciousness shines forth in majestic splendor.

Why and how the consciousness became self-conscious is obvious now.

The experience of the world is no more of the world as such, but is the blossoming forth of the selfsame conscious principle, God.

And what is it?

It is pure, primal knowledge, conscious form, the primordial 'I' consciousness that is capable of assuming any form it desires.

It is designated as God.

The world as the divine expression is not for any profit or loss; it is the pure simple natural flow of beatific consciousness. There are no distinctions of God and devotee, nor Brahman and Maya.

He that meditated on the bliss and peace is himself the ocean of peace and bliss.

Glory to the eternal truth, Sad-Guru, the Supreme Self."

If you have read or listened to Nisargadatta's dialogues, especially the later ones, this passage has very different tone to it. It is filled with the feelings that flood the mind and the moment of Awakening.

But setting that aside, this passage and all of Nisargadatta's dialogues are a meditation on the very same point:

"The ever awaited first moment was the moment when I was convinced that I was not an individual at all."

Not an individual.

At all.

This individuality; the idea of it, the assumption of it, is all that needs to be seen through.

You are not this individual.

You are just this conscious presence.

This sense that you are; that you exist, does not point to any individual or any trace of individuality, but only to this fact of being present and conscious.

This conscious presence; this pure consciousness, is nondual in nature.

The duality is only in the 'I' thought.

In the belief of individuality.

In the idea of separate selves.

But seeing through this belief, or simply setting aside this I-thought for a moment, it is clear that this conscious presence is nondual in nature.

By what dimension can pure consciousness be split in two?

Into yours and mine?

This is the Supreme Self that has no counterpart.

Realizing this,

"He that meditated on the bliss and peace is himself the ocean of of peace and bliss."