Take your stand in the Absolute | Why the Self cannot be negated

Have you noticed how your mind has layers to it? When you're wrapped up in thinking, your world seems to just shrink to that idea or problem. Whatever is occupying your attention at that point. But then there might be a sudden noise that makes you snap out of it.

Whatever was taking up the stage at that point was just a tiny bit of the mind. There was still the hearing, and the seeing, and the sensing, but they'd been pushed to the back somehow.

So, when you're lost in the turmoil of the mind, when there seems no way out, whatever is gripping you in that moment, that's just one tiny bit of the mind. The mind itself is so much more.

When you turn attention inwards upon the mind itself, you start to see the layers of the onion. It's all one mind, of course, but there are layers to it.

I will describe the mind in terms of three levels that become clear as you go deeper and deeper into Self-inquiry. There's the absolutely real level, the relatively real, and the entirely conceptual and imaginary.

Most human lives are being lived from the entirely imaginary and conceptual level, where much of the day is spent lost in thinking. Imagining scenarios, vaguely remembering events, and then worrying and getting anxious, or depressed, or angry and so on.

Animals perhaps live more on the second level. Or, if you think back to your childhood, you may notice this as well.

This is the level focused on sensory experiences. The raw perceptions, without the labels and the words or concepts. The colors, the shapes, taste, smell, sound, the feelings.

Take a dog out for a walk and it gets so excited!

It's not spending its time thinking. It's just focused on the smells, the sounds. Or if you've been to a music concert and lost yourself in it, again what we're doing is going from that thinking and conceptual level of the mind to being focused in the perceptions.

Trying to be in the present moment is not just something meditators do.

Everyone does it instinctively when the mind gets unbearable. When you're having a chocolate, or you turn on the music, what it is doing is taking you from the conceptual layer of the mind to the layer of perceptions. The layer of direct experience.

And when you go on a vacation, what has changed?

You just pull back from the thinking because of what's in front of you. This stunning scene in front of you, where imagination is clearly secondary and unnecessary.

Now, it should be starting to dawn on you that the direction where peace and happiness comes from is directly away from the conceptual and imaginary layer of the mind, in which you spend too much of your time.

Now, we've discussed two levels.

And they're not entirely separate. As we said, it is all one mind, of course. And there's feedback loops between the two levels. The perceptions may lead to thinking, and the thinking may affect your perceptions.

But there is a third level which is the bedrock. As solid as anything.

The absolute level.

And this is not conceptual, nor really experiential.

It is proven by the sense that I am here. I exist. I am conscious. Aware.

Look carefully.

This knowledge does not reference anything on those other two levels. It's not referencing a specific thought or any of the perceptions. The Buddhist teaching of Anatta, of no-self, that there are no separate subjects or self entities, are in reference to the other two levels. There's no self to be found there, because the self is not conceptual, nor something to be experienced.

But try as they might very few Buddhist monks ever get to the same understanding as the Buddhas and the Bodhisattvas. Because the negation only applies to the first two levels.

The final level cannot be denied. That is an undeniable affirmation.

Clearly, you're not imaginary or just an object of perception. There's no you on those experiential levels, but it is only this absolute level which is referenced in the assertion that I am. That is why the Self cannot be negated, try as you might, and why teachings on there being no self are so frustrating.

There is an I, but not in the sense that is indicated by the senses, and imagined in thought.

That I which is found on the Absolute level breaks all concepts. The thinking level of the mind defines you as something that is conscious. A person, a human being, a soul, a self, and so on. And the perceptions, they make you seem like you're an observer at a specific point in space and time.

But as you pull back from these levels and go deep within, all these concepts break down. You find that this absolute level is absolutely real. Non-conceptual, inexpressible by thought or perception, but most definitely present.

Because I am not nothing.

Or if I am "nothing", then "nothing" is not nothing.

Prior to all these other levels of the mind, I am. Only then does perception appear. And within what is perceived may arise a completely imaginary and conceptual layer based on language and imagery.

But I do not exist at that layer.

I take my stand in the Absolute.

So, these are the three main levels to the mind. The absolutely real, the relatively real, and the entirely conceptual and imaginary.

So, now we come to the point of all this: The mental flip. Where the level that you thought was closest to you, the first level, is seen to be the third, the most distant from Reality.

You have been operating from the conceptual level of the mind. And you have to switch this around, and stand firm at the absolute level.

Now, there's one aspect of the mind that helps you do this, because it intersects all the three layers. And that is feeling. If you are engrossed at the conceptual level, the feelings become unsatisfying, unfulfilling, and worse. And as you move back towards the level of perceptions, the feelings are simpler.

In the absence of pain or danger, there is calm. Just a feeling of being alive and present. And simple things like smells and taste, and sights and sounds, can bring joy.

So, now consider where this is going.

How does this spectrum work? As you move towards the Absolute, you are moving towards your natural, peaceful state. The extremes are all found at the two layers we've discussed; the perceptions and the thinking.

This is not the kind of spectrum with opposites on either end.

There is a baseline. As the mind recedes and goes deeper within to the absolute level, there you find just peace. It kind of makes sense that it should be so. Because the mind has a natural affinity for truth and order and life.

And this is like finding the Source of all that within yourself. When you stand firm here, and receive the other layers of the mind from here, there's an outpouring of love, beauty, inspiration.

Your worldview has flipped the right way up.

So, during your waking hours try to catch what level you're operating from.

How of often are you stuck in entirely conceptual thinking? And how does it feel there? And whenever you feel a bit of calm or peace, check which level you have been attending to at that point.

Knowing where misery comes from and where peace of mind is to be found will lead you to the Absolute.

And all these layers of thinking that you have been mesmerized by, will soon lose their charm.

You will find your Home in the stillness of the mind.